Category Archives: Self defense

How to Fight: Two Simple Steps

 

  1. Don’t do it. You could wind up in the hospital, the court system, or the morgue.  Use every available means NOT to fight.   Apologize.  Make it right.  Draw attention to yourself and the situation.  Clearly state that you don’t want any trouble.  Call the police.
  2. If you must fight, fight like your life depends on it. Commit fully, don’t hold back, and stop as soon as the threat is neutralized.  No one who picks a fight plans on losing, and you never know what advantages they may have.

Every situation is different, so trust your intuition and react quickly.

Stay safe!

Advertisements

How to Choose the Right Martial Arts School: Adult Students

how-to-choose-the-right-martial-arts-school

Finding the right martial arts school doesn’t have to be hard, if you ask the right questions.

A lot goes into choosing the right martial arts school, so start by asking the right questions.  Those questions differ somewhat by age.  Younger students do not have their own funds or transportation, and must depend on parents or guardians for guidance.  This post will deal with choosing the best martial arts school for adult students, with a follow-up post for finding the right studio for kids, or helping young students participate in selecting a good martial arts school for themselves.

Location

How far are you willing to travel to take a martial arts class?  Be honest and practical; if you’re time-crunched and will be hurrying across town after work to train, that may not be a viable long-term solution.  Convenience is a plus, and certainly increases your ability to participate in special events, arrive early, or stay late if need be.

Cost/contract

How much can you afford to spend on a class?  Note that “more expensive” doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll be receiving more value.  Continue reading

What’s Worth Fighting For?

whats-worth-fighting-for

What’s worth fighting for? Each person’s answer may be different, but that decision should be made before a confrontation ever occurs.

Know yourself and what you’re willing to fight for.  This can’t be a game-time decision…it must involve some soul-searching and personal inventory well before you’re faced with an attacker, an intruder, a mugger or any potentially life-threatening situation.

If you’re suddenly accosted by someone who is trying to take your wallet or purse, you need to know whether to toss it away (YES, in almost every case), or potentially risk your life and personal safety by trying to keep it.  If someone you don’t know knocks at your door, will you open it? What determines your answer?  And if an intruder tries to force his way into your car or home, how will you react?

Continue reading

A Nice Guy, or a Good Guy?

man-male-happy-face-guy-portrait-198949My friend was talking about a man who had stalked, restrained and physically attacked a woman we knew when she said, “But he’s basically a good guy.”  Shocked, I clarified:  “No, he’s a nice guy.  Definitely not a good guy.”

A nice guy, or a good guy?

We both knew this person.  He had been a guest in both of our homes.  He was attractive, charming, likable and a great conversationalist, making him very pleasant company.  However, beneath the surface, his niceness paled in comparison to his aggression, threatening behavior and willingness to put others at risk.

Yes, we all have bad days. We all have triggers that can cause us to behave unlike our better selves.  But someone who deliberately intimidates, terrorizes or attacks another person?  That’s not a good person.

Continue reading

Believe Them the First Time – 6 Questions to Help You “Hear” Your Inner Voice

When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.When someone shows you who he is, believe him the first time. Don’t wait for him to show you again.  If we’d all actually believe our eyes and ears and listen to our gut feelings, we’d avoid a lot of pain and heartache.  From business relationships to dating, and from online communications to in-person meetings, you can believe what people tell you…if you know how to listen.

I met someone recently I liked and felt comfortable with almost instantly.  This is rare for me, and was almost a “red flag” in and of itself.  However, when I considered what I knew about this person, that added context increased my comfort level, as did his willingness to answer questions directly and share relevant historical, professional and personal information.  We discussed appropriate topics, he respected my personal space, and allowed me to set the pace of our meeting.

What’s the context?  How long have you known this person? How did you meet?  Do you have shared business associates or friends, or did you simply meet by chance or through a shared activity or common location? Continue reading

10 Reasons Your Mom Should Take a Self Defense Class

Common sense for self defense

Self defense really is for everyone. You don’t have to be in shape, have martial arts training or any special skills…just a desire to stay safe!

Self defense is simply the right combination of situational awareness, safe choices and behaviors, and physical/mental readiness that enables you to avoid, evade, escape or survive an attack.  Note that I don’t say “a person” when I write…because I’m talking about you, your mom, your daughter, your friend, your neighbor…not just “someone.”

Why should YOU take a self defense class?  Here are my top 10 reasons:

  1. You are unique. You’re the only you in the world, and there will never be another.  You have value and worth, and it’s not okay if someone tries to harm you.
  2. Growth. “A comfort zone is a beautiful place, but nothing ever grows there.” Step outside your comfort zone and try something new.
  3. Muscle memory. Just like you’re able to ride a bike, type without looking at the keyboard, throw a ball, or any number of things you’ve trained your body to do…delivering a solid strike or performing a release move you’ve learned and practiced will come right back to you.
  4. Basic training. When you’re suddenly faced with a potential attacker and experience the “adrenaline dump,” you’ll revert to your lowest level of training. It’s up to you what that training might be.
  5. Good times! Self defense classes are fun. No, really…they are!  The instructor(s) work hard to provide you with useful information and tools you can use, in a comfortable and safe setting.
  6. A safe place to learn. Self defense doesn’t equate to sparring, grappling, or any of those other things you’re afraid of. Don’t worry that you’re going to wind up pinned beneath some sweaty, hulking stranger, boxing with a pro who has a chip on his shoulder, or trying to identify and recall obscure pressure points when you sign up for a self defense class at your YMCA or dojang.
  7. Empowerment! Learning new skills, pushing your boundaries and meeting new people is a great confidence builder.
  8. You might get to hit things or break stuff. A fun, memorable confidence builder for some people is actually hitting or kicking target pads…or breaking pine boards or “rebreakable” plastic boards (“green,” plus they provide a consistent break every time)!  The instructors will teach you how to do this safely and successfully.
  9. Safer behaviors. Changing just one or two unsafe habits could avert an attack, a break-in, or worse.
  10. Better odds. Statistics indicate that one in three women in the U.S. will be assaulted during her lifetime.  If you had one-in-three odds of winning the lottery, wouldn’t you play?  This is a lottery you don’t want to win.

Continue reading

unlocked-open-door

Don’t Go In There!

Self defense begins with making safe choices for yourself and those for whom you are responsible.  Sometimes habit or emotion gets in the way, but staying aware and alert can go a long way toward keeping you safe.

My good friend recently arrived home to find her front door standing open a bit. She knew she had closed and locked the door when she left for work, but there it was…open. She is a smart person with life experience and has taken at least one self defense class, but habit and emotion kicked in, and with a fit of righteous indignance, she walked in and began searching the house.

Fortunately, the intruders had left, taking some of her belongings with them.  What if they hadn’t?  Was she prepared to defend herself against a startled and possibly armed person who was breaking the law, escalating a burglary into a robbery or even an assault or rape?  By isolating herself inside the house, she potentially gave an intruder all the opportunity needed to commit further crimes against her, and took away her own escape route (get in the car and/or leave) and sources of assistance (neighbors).

Our homes are indeed our castles, and contain the majority of our possessions…but it’s still just “stuff,” and not worth losing your life.  By entering her home instead of calling the police, my friend unthinkingly exposed herself to serious risk.

Of course she felt angry; her home had been violated.  Of course she was incredulous; she had locked the door, but it was standing open.  Of course she felt safe; it was her home, where she has lived for over a decade.  It’s hard to process that a formerly safe place or situation can suddenly become anything but safe.  Being open to new information (my door is open, so someone could be inside), listening to your gut feeling and intuition, and finally, acting on that information will do more toward keeping you safe than anything else you could do.

No matter how good your intentions, if you zone out at the wrong moment or are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time, you could be the target of an assault or other crime.  Be prepared mentally and physically to fight back, escape and call for help.  You may be a target, but you don’t have to be a victim.

If you enjoyed this post, please subscribe!  Stay safe!